What follows is an account by my friend of how he found his way to atheism after a lifetime of strong religious belief.
If you wish t follow him on Twitter, he’s @IPWMA.
I was born in a Catholic family, the kind of Catholic that attend church not so frequently and not necessarily observing all the rules as they should be. By the time I was 15 years old a Catholic Priest didn’t forgive me for the “sin” of masturbation, which devastated me at the time.
In November 1986 I came to “know Jesus” and converted as a Protestant Christian (non denominational). I was really excited, happy and most of all, thankful with God because He had “saved me” from my void life and rescued me from who knows how many other awful things. I really felt the love of Jesus within me. The kind of loving care you don´t feel often.
In 1991 I married to the love of my life, the girl who had introduced me to “God” and Christianity. We had been dating each other for five years and since I had already finished the university and had been hired to a top-of-the-class global company, everything seemed in perfect timing to pop the question.
We had two wonderful children who were going to be indoctrinated in Christianity as well. So we were a sound and typical, mid level family following all God’s rules indicated in the Christianity Instructions book- The Bible.
Many years passed and the “boat sailed without it being rocked” at all. Our children attended both secular school system, but anyhow we attended church religiously as a family, every single Sunday for almost 19 years.
In 2009 I suppose I started to feel what they call the mid-life crisis (I was 43 years old then), or at least that´s one of the factors I feel lead me to my next life chapter. I felt that I had to change the job-slavery type of career I had been following for the last 9 years or so, being caged inside global companies´ headquarters offices.
Therefore I started to pray to God for wisdom and guide in order to take good and profitable decisions, and to cover my deeply loved family with the “blood of Jesus” as I was going to take a huge step in my Professional life. Night after night, and very early each morning I prayed and begged for my God to lead me, to talk to me, so that He didn’t let my feet stumble. I didn´t want to harm what was most precious to me- my wife in first place and my two adorable children.
To make a long story short, it was business after business failed to succeed, not making the necessary amount of money to pay even the most basic services such as the water and electricity bills. I had to take my two children out of school because paying for private education was not bearable any more. This was devastating more than anything to my wife´s heart, who felt by then that it was all my mistake having taken the path as an entrepreneur.
The more I prayed to God, the more things were getting worse and worse. Each new decision was “out of the frying pan and into the fire”. Our marriage got so awful that I decided to go to work to other cities in order to find what was necessary to keep our home alive. But as I have already shared, it was only darkness around us.
Pastors tried to help us in sweet prayer –of course not with money, but with kind prayers aid. My wife and I knew that God was there to help, but when was He going to start sending what was so basically necessary?
Why was I starting to feel He was not listening?
My wife had been pointing out it had been my fault to leave my secure job, and God had nothing to do with our crisis. Of course it was my responsibility for this wreckage, since God´s love and promises couldn’t be put into doubt at all.
As I had already mentioned, both my wife and I were Christians, and had been for many years (her, since 1983 or so. Me, since 1986). Both of us had been sincerely looking for God´s hand and love. But what we both found was His absence and a lack of interest in our family as His children.
It took about another three years to me to hit rock bottom and realize this God was nothing but words and brain washing. I had been deceived for more than two decades already. This freezing sensation that He was merely a concept and delusion was at the same time overwhelming and yet, relieving as much as I had felt in my entire life!
I had been set free from tons of burdens and regrets which I thought rest over my Christian shoulders.
I want to give credit to two individuals who were key in this process of coming to the light of atheism. These two people deserve my respect and have been in my mind ever since I became aware of such atrocity called the Christian religion. They lead my steps to atheism –without them knowing what was happening inside my defeated but yet ready to accept atheism mind- I saw the light of sense at some point in November 2014. My most sincere and precious thank you to @godless_mom and @atheist_andy.
Through Twitter these two new friends of mine, lead me tweet by tweet to come to the absolutely awesome and elating feeling of happiness and joy I now posses. Now I am a much more tolerant individual, with less prejudiced towards people who think different to me, and being aware to live every single day as if it was the very last, because to me it is now like that- the last day of my life, knowing that there is no afterlife, nor Heaven or God to welcome me over there.
Glad we could help my friend, and thank you for sharing your story.
If anyone would like to share their story of how they found their path to godlessness, please don’t hesitate to get in touch via Twitter.